Sure, the stars get millions of dollars every year to play their respective sports, and if they need something, they can easily go out and buy it themselves.
But don't forget — athletes are people too. There aren't many better feelings than the rush of anticipation felt while unwrapping a gift, so here are some that 10 of Boston's best athletes are sure to appreciate.
10. Attention for the New England Revolution
If a highly competitive professional soccer team shares a home with the New England Patriots, does anybody care?
The answer is, for the most part, no.
Despite four appearances in the MLS Cup and a SuperLiga championship this decade, attendance declined sharply in 2009 (according to Wikipedia, a source that is never, ever wrong).
The Revs aren't asking for much, they just want you to care.
9. Alarm clocks for Adalius Thomas, Randy Moss, Derrick Burgess and Gary Guyton
This gift might be a case of "too little, too late," but it can't hurt. It might even prevent them from another embarrassing incident like the one that took place earlier in the month.
The alarm clock, though, may not have been the issue for Thomas, who said he was simply stuck in traffic. If that's the case, it might be worth putting together some blueprints to build him a car from The Jetsons.
8. Lump of coal for Tiger Woods
No, he's not a Boston athlete, but he's always the biggest draw at the Deutsche Bank Championship in Norton, Mass. Plus, he was part of the memorable 1999 Ryder Cup team that beat the Europeans in Brookline (wearing the worst shirt in the history of international competition).
In any case, this one is self-explanatory.
7. A job for Pedro Martinez
A living legend, Pedro Martinez is not satisfied with his career. He's got nothing left to prove, yet he's hoping to prove just a bit more.
The only problem seems to be that nobody is all that interested in signing the 38-year-old righty.
In truth, he'll probably want more money than he's worth, but there has to be some team — hopeless or otherwise — who's willing to throw some cash at Pedro just in case he finds a way to recapture a piece of his dominance.
And if no team wants to pay him to pitch, you could help out by hiring him to take care of your garden.
6. Boxes of jersey T-shirts for Jacoby Ellsbury … so he can give them away
One of the lost stories of the offseason has been Ellsbury's uniform switch: He'll be wearing No. 2 on his back next season and ditching the old No. 46.
For Ellsbury, that'll mean getting a handful of new jerseys. For his fans, that means shelling out cash on all kinds of new No. 2 jerseys. There will be blue ones, red ones and yes, pink ones, and there will be big ones, small ones and really small ones.
It's hard to make everyone happy, but if Ellsbury holds a free T-shirt giveaway, he could receive the gift of his new number while staying in the giving spirit. He's already given us all tacos, so it wouldn't be unprecedented.
5. Beard trimmer for Randy Moss
Despite all the hullabaloo about whether or not Moss is giving his best effort, the guy is having another stellar year. Ten touchdowns, more than 1,110 yards and 74 catches is nothing to sneeze at, but the beard that's growing on Moss' face has reached the point of being simply … startling.
At this point, he looks more like Peter Griffin during the bird's nest era than he does an elite wide receiver in football.
Obviously, he can still catch the ball and he can still hold memorable postgame news conferences, but dude, that thing's gotta go.
4. Baby backpack for Tom Brady
With a newborn in the house and the stresses of an NFL season weighing him down, Tom Brady's been missing out on some sleep lately. And we're rightfully a little worried about Mr. Brady's health.
Now listed on the weekly injury report with ailments to his throwing shoulder, rib and finger, the man is falling apart. The last thing anyone in New England would want is for No. 12 to suffer any more injuries at the hands of his newborn son. That's where the baby backpack comes in.
It will take away the chance of injury while studying the playbook or watching film, which is where Brady's focus will be for at least the next few weeks.
Just make sure to keep him away from this guy. He looks like trouble.
3. Tickets to Riverdance for Jonathan Papelbon
It's been a while since Boston has been "graced" with the sight of Papelbon dancing away in his underwear or on a flatbed truck. It was a habit that Papelbon seemed to really enjoy, and it seemed to ruffle the feathers of Yankees fans.
So let's get the closer some tickets to Riverdance so he can find some inspiration. If he wants to dance again on a grand stage, maybe the wonder and amazement of Irish step dance is just what he needs as motivation.
2. Punch-Out! on Wii for Glen Davis
We know this about Big Baby: He got into a fistfight with his buddy and he likes to play video games.
With a return to the court on the horizon, why not make sure that Davis stays out of any trouble by combining the two activities?
Davis bragged that he's become a pretty good Madden player, and if he gets his own pair of Wii boxing gloves, he'll be a force to be reckoned with. But the questions remains … can he take this kid in a fight?
1. Snuggie for Zdeno Chara
It's going to be a cold one on New Year's Day at Fenway Park, and we'd hate for the captain to be underdressed. We know he can sometimes misplace his clothing, so the hottest gag gift of the holiday season seems all too perfect for Big Z.
Will he prefer royal blue or sage green? That's the tough part.
